So on May 15th, my boyfriend of almost three years broke up with me through a text message. It's not the first time that we've broken up, but the last time I wasn't so hurt. This time, I just couldn't let go. We've both made mistakes, but when it comes down to it, we are deeply in love with one another. We keep going through the same song and dance. I threaten to move with a friend far away and he buckles. A part of me wants to go, but I cannot bring myself to buy the ticket. He can bring himself to let go. Since our breakup, I've been forced out of our apartment and back to my parents house where I don't even know if Ill have a bed to sleep in. I stayed with a friend for a weekend, but her lifestyle and mine do not match. Beggars can't be choosers, but I refuse to life with people who smoke cigarettes and weed in their bed and drink all weekend like its their job. So anyway, I've been staying with him (the ex) some nights and I really don't know where it is going. I love him and I want to be with him, but I also don't want to waste my time. He has spoke of just buying me a ring, but he is unsure. So instead of me waiting for him to get back with me, I decided to find a place (and its a good one), get a full time job and keep my part time. I move in Friday and hopefully start my new job on Monday. It's nothing serious, just a bill payer for now. It's an 8-4 and its practically down the street from where I will live, awesome! So....yeah....For now I'm like in purgatory. He won't let me leave, I don't wanna go, and he won't let me come back at the same time. I have been so stressed that I've forgotten to eat most days and I just want to be in my new place, so if I need to have a good cry alone, i can do that. I could go live with my girl in Florida, RENT FREE and get a job with her. Which would be great, i miss living there and I miss her, but on the other hand, I need to know if he loves me or if hes really letting go. I can't leave with things uncertain. Why can't men just figure out what they want? I've known that I wanted to marry him since the second month. Flaws and All. He's the one. Tomorrow I have an interview. Wish me luck. if I get this one, i will cancel the others because its the one that starts on Monday.
